


Fool Me Once

by crystellinestar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura is sad and guilty, Angst, F/M, Female Masturbation, Fingering, Lotor isn't really there..., Masturbation, Post S6, S6 Spoilers, on Earth, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 23:50:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15035996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystellinestar/pseuds/crystellinestar
Summary: Allura is overcome with guilt for leaving Lotor behind, which in turn, makes her feel even worse. Why should she feel bad for leaving behind someone who betrayed her? And why can she not stop imaging their intimate times together?





	Fool Me Once

**Author's Note:**

> A random one shot written during a game with the prompt. "Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it." 
> 
> Sorry this sad and messed up.

It was strange, how differently time seemed to pass on Earth. At least in Allura's case, days crawled, as though she were pressing her fingers into the Earth and physically dragging it, willing it to turn and move forward with her life.

She felt heavy, gravity pulling her down. She was, of course, used to fluctuations in atmospheres and planets’ various masses, but something about Earth trapped her, constricting her chest with each breath she took.

And she'd never felt so alone. With the brief respite, the Paladins had taken some time to themselves. Pidge had returned to see her parents (her mother was especially worried), and Lance and Hunk had done the same. Krolia had taken Keith to see places her and his father had enjoyed together, leaving only Shiro and Coran back in the small temporary base they'd created for the Lions.

Earth however, wasn't the safest, and they wouldn't be staying long. For that, Allura found herself thankful.

Still, she wasn't sure if this feeling would ever go away.

She cupped her hand under her thick white hair, tucking it up into a bun, a few pieces settling against the side of her cheeks. A sigh slipped from her lips as she met her tired blue eyes in the mirror. The last time she'd gotten a good night's sleep...

_He_ had been by her side.

_'My princess'_

She quickly shook his words and her unhelpful thoughts from her mind, walking briskly from her room to the main room, which she found to be currently empty. Relief washed over her. As lonely as things had been, Allura wasn't in the mood to see Shiro or Coran, but especially her advisor.

Lately, Coran's prying eyes had been unhelpful, and anytime he spoke to her, she didn't know what to tell him. How could she admit some of the darkest thoughts her mind had ever held? Coran wouldn't understand. Emotions, feelings... they were... complex, and she had no idea how to decipher the thoughts plaguing her mind. She felt robotic, like she shouldn't be feeling any of these things. Really, she shouldn't. It was wrong, all of it... so wrong.

She took a walk out onto the back porch of the small house. The one thing she did appreciate about Earth was the fresh air, the scent of flowers, dirt, and sky; everything was so _alive_ , and it fired off memories of Altea. She closed her eyes, letting the breeze blow around her, the small tendrils of hair brushing against her face.

A shiver ran down her spine as she felt it; his hand ghosting across her cheek. The way his thumb had caressed her skin...

_'My princess'_

His voice echoed on the wind, the soft lilting tone, filled with lust and passion. _Fake_ passion. Her brow furrowed as she clenched at the railing.

_'Allura'_

It wasn't real. It had never been real. She was a fool... a complete and utter-

_'Allura...'_

She wanted it to go away.

"NO!" she yelled.

"Allura?" she heard her name and felt a hand on her back.

Gasping, she immediately whipped her head around, coming face to face with Shiro. "S-Shiro?" she whispered, her chest heaving. "I... I apologize, you startled me."

"I can see that," he chuckled, moving to stand next to her. Concern flickered across his eyes, and she recoiled before he could speak, knowing what he would ask. "Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it," he said, and she turned her gaze to the ground.

"I..." She spoke softly. Of the Paladins, Shiro was the most mature and often most understanding, but still... this wasn't something easily spoken out loud.

"It's okay if you're not... okay," he said gently. "You've been through a lot in a very short amount of time."

She couldn't help but chuckle lightly at his caring tone. "The same could be said for you Shiro," she smiled sadly. So much time had passed without the _real_ Shiro, but she was grateful the real him had returned.

"Still," he shrugged. "You've got quite the burdens. Coran is worried," he smirked.

She let her head drop, an audible sigh passing between her lips. "I know. And I just... I don't know how to fully express..." She swallowed. The words were so close to boiling over, and she bit down on her lip hard, not wanting to let all her ugly thoughts into the world. Speaking them would make them real, legitimizing thoughts which had been merely that, thoughts, and nothing more. They didn't deserve to be anything more.

"Hey," Shiro said, placing his hand on her back. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I just want you to know we're here for you. We're a team for a reason, you know?" he said.

She nodded. "I know..." Her gaze turned up to the sky, unable to see the stars, hidden beneath the sunny, light blue morning sky. "It all happened... so fast..." she whispered finally. "I trusted him. I _finally_ trusted him," she said, letting the words tumble from her lips, even as she wished she could stop herself. "We... experienced so much together and I..." she froze.

_'I'm falling in love with you.'_

Her heart pounded, the memory as clear as the reality in front of her eyes currently. She pursed her lips, swallowing as she pulled back her shoulders. "He made his true colors quite clear. Romelle, she... and of... of course, I believe her! I do! And yet..." She trailed off, unable to look Shiro in the eyes. How could she?

"What?" he said, gently urging her to keep speaking.

"And yet for a moment... I wanted to believe he would... he would tell me it wasn't true... would show some proof.... that it wasn't him and that I..." she whispered, her body trembling. "I fell for it completely, like a fool..."

"Don't say that." Shiro's voice was calm, and gentle, and Allura tried to allow herself to relax. She could see why Keith liked him so much, relied on him. "We were all fooled," he said softly.

"I know..." she replied.

But none of them had been fooled like _her_. None of them had felt his lips against theirs, or felt his touch in the most intimate of places. None of them had fallen in love with a prince who had destroyed what little was left of her people. And none of them felt guilty leaving him behind to deteriorate with his mind in the rift.

_'We can't just leave him!_

She had been the only one to even suggest...

"But I..."

"It's okay to... feel strange about it," Shiro said, sensing the conflict in her voice.

"I felt guilty... leaving him behind, Shiro," she admitted softly. "I listened of course, but how can I explain to Coran... that I felt guilty leaving this... monster..."

"You don't have to explain anything you don't want to," he said. "Whether or not he did, _you_ had real feelings, and those don't go away overnight. Take the time you need. In the end you did the right thing, remember that," Shiro said, bowing his head. Perhaps he could sense she needed to be alone as he made his way down off the porch. "I'm going to collect some supplies for later. Keith and Krolia are going to be back tomorrow."

"Thank you, Shiro," she smiled, bowing her head.

She watched his back as he disappeared around the front of the house. She ran her fingers against the porch, leaning against the house with a sigh.

_'I'm nothing like him. I will never be anything like my father.'_

Allura had heard the way his voice trembled when she had said he was no better than his father. She'd wanted to hurt him, even if it was just a fraction of the amount he had hurt her. He had claimed his feelings for her were true, but how could they be? How could he love her while he had slaughtered so many of her people behind her back?

And yet, she felt a great sadness wash over herself. She turned away from the porch, stepping back into the house. Her feelings _had_ been real, _were_ real, and she hated herself for them. Their connection...

She gently slapped her cheeks. She needed to clear her head. Maybe she needed a walk... or a shower. Something to wake her up from this stupid haze. She made her way back to her room, feeling foolish for leaving it in the first place. She hadn't expected to be overwhelmed by a smattering of emotions just by stepping outside. It was just how things seemed to be for her lately.

_'In the end you did the right thing, remember that.'_ Shiro's words rang out in her head as she shut the door behind her.

The quintessence may have corrupted him, and somewhere beneath all the intense emotions he had spouted in the rift... the real him still existed. Maybe underneath it all, he was trapped by the corruption poisoning his mind. So, had she? Had she done the right thing by leaving him behind? Were they any better than him... even if he was only one person...

She began to slip her dress off of her shoulders, and she gasped at the sensation of her own hands touching her bare skin. His hands had gripped her shoulders gently so many times, steadying her, holding her in place, touching her dark, bare skin. His hands ghosted down her arms.

_Princess, may I?_

There were times he'd been so polite, so _caring_. He made her heart flutter, her legs _tremble_ , her body wet and needy. Had it... really all been fake?

She missed it. She missed _him_. And she hated herself for even _thinking_ about him.

But she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't stop the feeling of his hands cupping her cheeks, or imagining how gently his lips had been the first time he'd kissed her. He'd gripped her hips, his lips nipping at her lower, a soft growl on his lips when she'd sighed into it.

The thoughts were all-consuming, clouding her mind with memories of pleasure.

Falling back against her bed, her breasts swayed with the movement and she knew how good it felt when his hands touched there, his lips circling around her nipples, sharp teeth grazing her skin. Her back arched, her knees buckling as she gasped, running her own fingers over her chest. Her fingers pinched at her nipples, and her body tensed, her teeth pushing into her lip.

Her knees knocked together, her legs pulling up as she felt her lower abdomen tingle with pleasure she hadn't felt in weeks. Was she really so pathetic...

With him... it had been overwhelming at first, and she trailed a path down her stomach, following the ghost of his own hands and kisses. The best was when he used his lips, his strong hands gripping her thighs and spreading her legs apart. His lips would wrap around her swollen clit, licking at her wet folds. His dark eyes stared up at her, the yellow practically glowing in the dark as he stared at her.

_'Allura, you're perfect.'_

She was so far from it, and yet he had said it anyway... a ploy... to convince her of his act. Her own fingers rubbing at her swollen nub, pushing in a fast circular motion, her wetness coating her hand. Her free hand covered her mouth as her breathing grew labored, and high pitched, desperate moans slipped from her lips. She prayed Coran and Shiro were far from the house, being caught now... she would have no explanation.

_'Are you really thinking of someone else?'_ His voice chastised her, and her hips thrust up towards her own touch, suddenly desperate for more.

"Please..." she whispered against her hand, wishing it was him, dying for his touch as she pressed two fingers inside of herself. It wasn't enough, even as her body trembled, her insides throbbing against the soft penetration.

She pumped her fingers in and out of her, remembering how much he had _filled_ her. The first time he'd spread her wide, filled her walls completely, the friction too much for her... but there were other times... times when she had pushed him down, gripped him in her hand and pushed him inside of herself. Her hands pressed against his chest as she bounced up and down, watching his eyes flutter shut, desperate with need, desperate for _her_.

Her fingers were definitely not enough, but she continued to work herself, adding a third. The three pushed inside and her thumb brushed against her clit, a small pool forming beneath her bare ass.

She panted heavily, her back arching off the bed. She could feel his hand slip under her lower back, angling her hips up towards him as his thick cock slammed into her over and over. Sometimes it was so fast, and sometimes he rolled his hips into her tantalizingly slow, his tongue swiping over his own lips before capturing hers.

She was close now, her breathing growing shallow, her moans deepening, elongating as she felt her body tighten against her own fingers. She pulled up towards herself as she released, her orgasm rolling down each vertebrae of her spine as her legs trembled.

"Lotor," she breathed, her chest heaving, arms shaking from pleasure. His name settled in the air and flowed over her entire being, causing her to freeze. Slowly, she pulled her fingers out of herself, gripping at the sheets beneath.

_How could she?_

All the awful things he'd done... and all her mind could do was focus on the immeasurable pleasure they'd shared together?

Deplorable.

What kind of princess was she? She choked back a sob as she rolled onto her side, curling in on herself. So many promises had been whispered between them during those intimate nights, and she hated that she had believed every single one of them. She hated that his name had fell from her lips with such pleasure one final time.

She wasn’t normally so weak.

As tears fell from her eyes, she made one last promise to herself. Never would she let herself be played a fool again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my sad oneshot! Feel free to leave feedback if you want :) Thanks to my beta for looking this over for me. My focus is going to be on my arranged marriage au but it was fun to write this little one off, especially with all my S6 feels :(  
> You can also find me on [tumblr](https://crystellinestar.tumblr.com/)


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